Against the world.

I must say... life isn't all what i thought it would be. Especially after high school. They say that things will always get worse before they get any better but when will it get better anyway? Sometimes I wish I can see what will happen... almost like supernatural, i could seeeeee the future. My love life & my social life.. family affairs and doing things FOR ME. Its like there's a boulder in my way of trying to proceed with my life. I give up all I have and I get a kick in the ass and multiple heartaches for being a good person.
Its like a girl needs to be a Bitch to get any respect around here because being sweet and kind gets you no where. Life is stupid and I hate it. I really do hope life turns out good at the end because giving up is LAST on my list. I'm almost 18 and i have yet accomplished what I've been wanting to. My mother says I shouldn't rush my life, which is true but a girl needs to grow into a woman sooner or later. What's a girl like me sitting around on my ass & being in the house get me? No where.
I want my life to begin to show results. I want to be happy and I want to be happy NOW. Relationships aren't at there best all the time but I wish it was 24/7.... like in fairy tales but fairy tales aren't real. All I have to do is hold on and hope He doesn't let go. I've always dreamed of getting married on a beach, having beautiful children and living happily ever after but I'm tired of dreaming. I want it to become reality and I'm scared thats not set in the path of my destiny.
God, i really do hope you got it all planned out for me.